01.04.2002 6:41 pm
ok, so today i was faced with one really sucky thing still lingering in my life: my job. i can't hang with it any more. i've only been at it 4 months but i've been getting many indications that it's time to move on. and now particularly after this lovely break of not working over the holidays, that time seems overdue. i just typed out a bunch of reasons why my job seriously blows, but decided not to burden readers with them. i wanted to take an opportunity to gripe, though, especially after reading entries about job dissatisfaction like Adam's today. i relate to the frustration of having little to do at work and feeling like i've got countless better things i could do with my time. in fact, i often stay up all night reading and doing things to revitalize me from the soul-sucking, mind-numbing, insipid crap i have to do during the day. this afternoon i ambled into the office at about 2:20pm and after staring at a spreadsheet for 2 hours and trying unsuccessfully to force myself to work, i just walked out. when i leave work i feel deflated and limp and deadened. sometimes i think i need to grow up and deal with working a job like this as a necessary evil so i can make money to subsist... until i can hopefully make a living doing what it is i'm passionate about. but really it's getting to the point where i'd rather go play my violin on some street corner in SF for spare change. and sometimes i feel i'd even be more excited and doing more to help people by serving food at a restaurant than wallowing in the monotony of scanning and typing in business cards. i'm starting back at school on monday and i think i might just take this job and shove it...

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