02.17.2002 11:46 pm
so, i haven't really written in a little while...

...and it is with typical extremism that i now feel the strong urge to pour out entry after entry. only self-control and sleep-deprivation (a feared inevitable incoherence) will stop me. so i'll give just one a go, here...

~

i've been doing a lot of running, lately. it has started becoming a habit of about 4 miles almost every day. it creates a circular flow wherein i run to expend the extra energy i have, then the exercise gives me extra energy, and so on...

energy: 1. a) dynamic quality b) the capacity of acting or being active 2. vigorous exertion of power: effort 3. the capacity for doing work 4. usable power (as heat or electricity); also: the resources for producing such power. antonym: entropy.

...a very interesting subject. i've been looking up things about it, reading about the physics of energy -- nuclear fission and fusion, basic quantum mechanics, properties of the atom, fundamentals of electronics, the role of energy in chemical processes, etc.

so, the other day when i was running, i had a blinding (re-)realization: thoughts have the capacity to harness energy! mental energy can induce physical energy. brain activity - thoughts - emotions - body response: all connected. but rather than reducing this phenomena to biochemistry and cognitive science, i like to choose to be simply amazed by the magic of it...

ever since i was little and my dad used to take me out jogging with him, i've found a certain enjoyment in endurance-running. some people find it horribly dull and monotonous. i find it mentally productive such as i value the time spent in things like driving or art or listening to music, whereby there's a certain space to just relax and think...

there is always a degree of discipline involved in distance-running, proportionate to the distance and level of challenge involved. but often one has to engage in mental "games" to distract oneself and keep going. my dad used to relate some tricks to me, such as pretending that with each step you're actually putting the path there in front of you, creating it...

well here are my recent running-thoughts:

~ imagining i am rushing towards something i desire, hurling into the future, ever closer to what i hope for.

~ imagining i'm escaping things i want to leave behind, running away from that which is unwanted, unneeded, feared, etc.

~ thinking about the people i love and how much i love them.

~ reciting pi in my head, recounting the patterns of numbers i know by heart (a nice, effective form of mental escape, albeit super-geeky, that i discovered last year)

~ thinking about sex (yeah baby)

~ visualizing energy as looking like pixie-dust, infusing me and trailing past me as i run...

~ forming images to go with the music i listen to (hooray for my discman!)

~ thinking about possibilities for the future, plans, places i want to visit... thinking a lot about travelling.

~ imagining all the seemingly miraculous little chemical reactions and interactions that must be taking place inside my body as i run.

~ thinking of new things to wonder about, questions i have about things, new subjects to research and find out about...

~ generally letting my imagination take over.

these thoughts, literally and figuratively, give me the energy to keep going.

it sure is neat-o.

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