in most ways, i have been silent from the outside world for a while... haven't updated the diary, haven't done any writing, haven't replied to any e-mail, haven't done any art or music.
i've been mute.
the only communication i've given has been in live conversations people have engaged me in.
and i've needed this, and just kinda realized why. i think there's a phase after a period of destruction when re-growth occurs... and you require a certain shelter and destimulation while this takes place. you shut down and protect the healing wounds...
it has been a very valuable time... a lot of change, flux, motion. experiencing, processing, digesting... and it all feels like preparation for the times coming.
but i'm starting to turn inside-out again. it's life... hibernation patterns, tides, blossoms, circadian rhythms, phoenix rising, cycles of death/rebirth ~ choose your analogy.
my brain and body and spirit are alive and i'm becoming re-sensitized... feeling other people, feeling music, feeling landscapes, feeling... aesthesia. getting songs stuck in my head once again that i've never heard before. i stayed up almost all night last night working on a new song.
i made a wonderful new friend this evening. an older man... funny how it is that several of those i consider to be my dearest friends are over 50. i just connect with them and soak up their stories and wisdom while they soak up my ideas and enthusiasms, perhaps...
i took a bit of time to stare at the beautiful full moon and realize this is now Fall. i love this season ~ its winds of change, its metamorphoses, the intensity of my life these months each year...
so, i've learned a hell of a lot recently and i'm trying to build those little lessons into my reconstructions... overall, i've got a very good feeling about where things are headed.
oh... and i'm in love. with who? everybody and nobody in particular. with what? everything and nothing in particular.
goodnight, for now...