i come in the name of love. giving tree. "you can't fire me because i quit" offensive vs. defensive - empowerment in making choices, living life 100%, impassioned. how i want to be remembered: giving it my all, enthusiastic and never apathetic. connecting and feeding larger self. feed that which i want to prevail. restore vestiges, ruins - i am my own restoration project. i'm waving the white flag, should design my own "surrender flag". rehabilitate mental function/capacity. write about subject of human interface, packaging, product marketing - external symbol, image, how people compulsively compartment & categorize, regognizing only that within their cookie-cutter template vision. iconography, archetypes. entertainment media is main source of education now. what subversive messages/instruction, attention diversion/control. hunger: give voice to it. healing through recognition of value, the space-between. our society seems based on judgement rather than evaluation. 3rd-world country starvation vs. USA starvation... hunger as indicated by overconsumption - what lack is seeking compensation? wake up, awareness. i'm living proof; i'm dying proof. the proof is in the pudding? fade into you, melt among you - i'm a catalytic component, organism. i'm enzymatic and catabolic - break down/rebuild. remember camouflage concept. "i want to know what you're thinking, there are some things you can't hide... i want to know what you're feeling, tell me what's on your mind" - to the whole world. what external representation/manifestations do we seek for justifiable grievances - cries for help. i have sonar for value and for pain in others. light radar - x-ray, scan. antennae, capturing device, projecting screen extraordinaire. like a 1-way security mirror - i can see you looking at yourself, pulling faces... smile, you're on candid camera. never take senses or communication faculties for granted. can use rhythmic or visual input as stimulus, basis for fantasy. dreams become so real as to enter conscious waking life, hard to differentiate reality sometimes. pour into your mold, shapeshifty, chameleon, pleasure puppet/marionette. culture puts on its own puppet show - am i only to be lived vicariously through? my heart bleeds for you. pours through you... where do i stop, where do you begin? if i speak out my own language, is it a mating call for my own "kind"? video/documentaries as sociological studies and experiments. i'll play tennis with myself - hitting thoughts against a board. i've sent out too many tennis balls to keep up with racketing back, i'm drowned in balls. what thoughts and energy do i release to have returned via external actions and events and people? hmmm... purge the poison - all is polluted with falseness. false identity like scarlet fever - must decontaminate everything. i can't be responsible enough to maintain human interface tool... want to put a paper bag over my head, wear a sandwich board, billboard... "i am just an advertisement for a version of myself" i'd rather be a disembodied spirit, which is why i love conversations in the dark... just voices, or words on a page, me + instrument, paint + canvas - safe. i want to get under your skin. everything gets under my skin. underneath my skin, i'm dreaming. lovely words: soothing, comfort, smile, glow, warmth, satisfaction. shake up, wake up, arouse - what is the opposite of lullaby and trance? raw, open, cut, feel, enter, bite, tingle, contact, impinge. geysers, reverse river direction, channels, AC/DC, sea back to river. show things in rewind, alter sequence, rearview, objectivity. fundamental, undercurrent, pulse, flow, monitor, tune in. mainline, inject, infect, subvert, revolt, free, untrap, unleash. oscillation, wave vs. particle, escape machinery, think outside the box (head, brain). natural rhythms, beats, patterns, waves, structures, fractals. i want out, i want in, i want around, i want life. lust for life. mental wank for creative blue balls. circuitry. reprogram, reconfigure. system overhaul for virus. if you build it, they will come - form begets function. it's all meditation on words and concepts. get the blood flowing to the brain, purposeful mental workouts to rehab mental injury. zeitgeist - don't block flow... artist suppression is a crime. words: recycle, remix, piece together again. "i'll stop the world and melt with you" - discourse, intercourse. in nature, fusions are evolutionary, inevitable... so it goes. synchronicity amongst human species makes total sense. meetings = progression. fuel can be used as enablement or hindrance. humanity as single organism - we are cells, constituents. does regognizing our role make us more effective? like chaos theory, we individually suffer same affliction as whole... concentric. tap raw beauty, raw power. visit wilderness, harness. harness my own natural energy, wild resources. maybe war is important if cultural assimilation/homogonization is inevitable - dissonance, battle, chemical instablity, alchemy, reaction, explosion. too many disparate elements combined. war is like certain chemicals combusting when they coalesce. globalization sickness, global intercommunication - death and healing simultaneously. it's all gonna break down... mitosis, cells divide, atoms split, deconstruction, reproduction, genesis, photosynthesis - auralgenesis. heartthrob, skin, open chakras, let down guard, don't protect, surrender, melt together, don't preserve. external protection, reward, continuance, and sustenance for purpose. lovely visions of grandeur. symmetry, equilibrium, centrifugal and centripetal force... destiny. "we will never break the chain" "thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven" love... will... prayer to/for the Self. "ooh baby, do you know what that's worth... ooh heaven is a place on earth"
...and then i fell asleep.