well, being back in school feels very right and lending to much growth and progression. i've already been whipped into quite a frenzy of inspiration. i have amassed these classes to giddily immerse myself in: design, oil painting, grapic design/comm., 3D design, philosophy, 2 dance classes, & now a 'special projects in music' thing, too. ridiculous, eh? at least i'll enjoy myself as i drown. ran into and caught up with my old electronic music teacher, dan mitchell, today. watched as my painting teacher mixed together paint and fervently described meanings of color. listened and grinned as he gave an ass-kicking talk on the perils of perfectionism and how we must embrace the mess of the creative process and of life. it reaffirmed what i've been starting to conclude.. and in applying it, hot damn do i suddenly feel more relaxed in general...
and those little green shoots are coming up. funny how sometimes i scarcely know how to react when i find something i've always wanted...
like friends i've always searched for. new people i'm meeting have been delightfully overwhelming...
case in point: on saturday night i hung out with jenny. i quickly found that i could say anything and she would track. and felt like "wait, did you just say.. did we just talk about this.. out loud?" we got to articulate and share so many little observations that i'd scarcely gotten to vocalize from my own head - or hear vocalized by another person - before. felt a bit dumbfounded at times by it. as we took little nibbles on fondue and little sips on drinks, we completely gorged on conversation. spending time with such a lovely, consciencious, real girl felt almost like another dimension...
i remember being 14 and having that hopelessly isolated feeling of desperately wanting to find friends and "cool people". in that aching search i met many people i thought were very "cool".. but hardly any who i felt a kinship with. so right now i feel very fortunate to have close friends who i feel indelibly connected with and to meet new people who i feel are ones i've always been looking for... And now these days i just concern myself with how to be a good friend to those in my life and with what to do now that i've found them.
it's all good.
for the moment i should get some rest as talking with jim the past few nights has gotten me gladly, but severely, deprived of sleep...